I’ve been considering an experiment in which I do only what I want to do for some period of time. Other than the riskiness of such a seemingly indulgent approach, the most difficult prospect is actually the challenge of knowing what I want to do.
“What do I want in this moment” is not the same as “I don’t feel like xyz” or “I want to just lay here with my head under the covers and not get up all day.” I mean something very specific by the idea of want. Want must have something feeling of a spark, inner wisdom, maybe joy, or silence, something that feels right.
I’m not sure of the specifics beyond these vague notions, mostly because I haven’t spent much time following or listening to or even being aware of this feeling. I supposed I’m currently a stranger to what I actually want, beyond thought. A stranger to who I am beyond thought. I’ll try following the spark for a day and see where it takes me.