There is a game-changing, simple first principle of relationships. It’s the only thing we actually want, the only fundamental thing with which to concern ourselves: the feeling.
All we’re ever really looking for in our relationships is a good feeling.
If we want to improve a relationship, we need only improve the way it feels.
What matters to you in your relationships? What are the must-haves, the nice-to-haves, the deal breakers? Maybe you observe rules for relationships from a belief system like a religion. All of these things, ultimately, are meant to create and engender good feelings. Between the people in the relationship, between the people and their society, between the people and their deity.
Rules, expectations, desires, and needs are an endless cobweb of divergent confusion. What feels good for one person might be wildly different than what feels good for another person. What feels good for one person this morning might be wildly different from what feels good tomorrow.
It’s not about what feels good, it’s about the feeling itself.
If we want to improve or enhance a relationship, we need only improve the way it feels.