Most of us share the experience of some common fears: fear of failure, fear of rejection, fear of loss of control.
We spend a lot of time and energy developing coping strategies, arranging circumstances, and influencing others so that we can deal with and avoid the things we fear.
Ironically, the things we fear don’t actually exist.
It’s not actually possible to lose control. Control isn’t something you or anyone else can actually have – it’s a thought, plus some meaning that goes along with the thought, and then a feeling. You have a feeling of losing control.
Losing control is a feeling that comes from a story that lives inside your head. Control lives in your thoughts, not out there in the world. You can’t actually lose control, but you can definitely feel like it.
This is really good news – especially for someone like me who does not like to feel out of control. Like, ever.
If control isn’t actually real, if it’s just a feeling that comes from a thought, then a new thought could bring a new feeling. A new thought could bring a feeling of greater control or it could bring a new experience of control altogether.
The good news about fear is that it’s not actually related to anything real. It’s like being scared of a shadow – once your eyes adjust to the dark, or someone turns the light on, you see there’s nothing there and the fear is gone. The good news about fear is that it’s not any more real than just a thought in your head, and where there’s one thought there are millions more. One fresh new thought could change everything.